fear & what's been happening in our city lately

so much of what I’ve been hearing about Mexico, about Puebla, about our own NEIGHBORHOOD lately, has made me want to pull and say “you know what?” i’m done. it’s back to the US for me.” drug trafficking taking over zones of the city, a gang of sex traffickers operating the next neighborhood over, people dumping lifeless bodies of girls and boys just ten blocks away from our small, homey apartment. even as i write i feel the dark wisps of fear snaking around me, waiting for a weak moment to vacuum themselves into my mind. my heart weighs heavy with so much devastating news and knowledge that was never mine to bear but carries it nonetheless. Mexico- a country so beautiful, so rich in resources, so generous in hospitality, so loyal in its family ties- is sagging beneath the weight of so much evil and darkness. there’s such a black cloud over Mexico right now, and my flesh and emotions cause conflict within me, stirring desires to run back across the line of safety, like a game of Capture the Flag with much higher stakes. morbid ancestral traditions swirled in with modern day wickedness brews together to spawn a bleak present for Mexico, and sometimes it feels like the darkness won’t be stopped from spreading. 

all this becomes terribly and exceedingly overwhelming… until i stop and shift my focus to remember Who already looked darkness in the eye and brought Light forth to reveal it was nothing more than a powerless shadow… He Who already went to the place of deepest unescapable despair and completely stripped it of its power. my Jesus descended to the grave and broke forth from it to tell me the grave would no longer have any dominion over me. He came back to impulse me to open wide my arms and remind all those whom I encounter that there is something more to this life: a tremendous beauty hidden behind the thick fog of tragic heartache, that the love they seek and desire is waiting to be discovered and accepted, that they have a purpose so unique so vital, that there is a better way, that death is not something to fear. even i must be reminded of this at times.

i know i have been called here [to Mexico], and perhaps even for such a time as this, even if i don't feel quite as valiant as Queen Esther, or as a wise Judge Deborah. fear is my biggest enemy, but i will not let it be my king.

friends, would you pray for us? and more importantly, for our beloved Mexico, our beloved Puebla? for peace to settle in our hearts and in our neighborhoods. for courage to win, for the love of Jesus to be released over every street and every heart, no matter the cost.

loving the broken

/written one month ago./

a nineteen year old woman came undone in my arms last night as she listened to my husband prophesy over her-- and that brought into crystal-clear realization WHY we’re doing what we’re doing.

God’s the only One who can give her answers, and He used the two of us last night to proclaim truth and love into her soul. i felt her as her tears saturated my shirt sleeve and dribbled down my arms like soft rain on windowpanes; i gripped my arms around her tight as her body wracked, then caved under the weight of years of pain and sorrow. we prayed freedom over her mind, for the breaking of chains keeping her captive in darkness.

the smile that emerged at the end of the night was worth venturing deep into vulnerability and brokenness, but we know it doesn't stop there. her process and healing continues, and so does my responsibility -- to follow up, to continue the conversation, to intercede on her behalf, to demonstrate that my Father loves her desperately and holds her freedom in His heart and hands.

you and me, friend, we were created to literally embody God’s love for others-- why is that often the last thing we do? the Bible says that others will know we are followers of Jesus because of our love… not primordially because of the quality of the sermons, or our small groups, or our numbers, whatever you want to insert there, but principally because of our LOVE.

Body of Christ… how much longer must we submit ourselves (and willingly!) to competition or comparison, to envy and gossip, to looking down on others, when what we are really doing is opening ourselves up to the enemy, to let him sew seeds of hate: the very opposite of our calling? i know i’ve had to examine my heart during the past few weeks and uproot all the lies and strategies i’d let the enemy seed in my heart as he’d hoped to weed out the love… and i'm not talking about just any love here, but powerful love of the perfect Father: the love that casts out all fear, the love that “is patient, is kind. The love that does not envy, does not boast, is not proud… does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs… does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth...always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

The love that never fails.”

brothers and sisters,

are we manifesting and cultivating the very love Jesus said would distinguish us from the rest?

uprooting

the other night God began to speak to me about uprooted trees.

Matthew 13:31-32

Jesus put before them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that a man planted in his field. Although it is the smallest of all seeds, yet it grows into the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches.”

sometimes He uproots us because there’s other places that He needs us to be- other places that are in desperate need of what God has imparted to us: the cool shade, the branches to rest in, the fruit to pluck and savor and be fed from, the trunk to lean against. they specifically need us- this certain tree- in their lives for a particular season, and of course for the tree it’s never easy being dug out; it’s never easy for our roots not to be sunk into earth we know, dangling in the air while moved to a new site, exposed to the hot sun and frigid evenings while we transition and move, then settling those roots into foreign dirt, re-acclimating to the climate, acquainting with new forestry.

but the point is, the tree doesn’t exist for itself. we don’t exist for ourselves- to give ourselves life- to be content with ourselves or our environment. we exist so that God might give us of His life to give and impart that life to others- in whatever soil we find our roots wound down into. God has us grow in specific places so that we may be ready and prepared for the next site in which He wants to plant us.