i had some time today to make a vblog. enjoy! :)

27 de agosto-- realizations

something I didn’t really acknowledge before is that my dorm is the one of transition. I was just told that one of our nineteen-year-olds will be moving out today, into a nearby apartment with other young ladies that also grew up here.

I think God is trying to tell me something about this topic, because it quite honestly never leaves me alone.

I’ve only known Maribel for a month, and she’s already leaving. Out into the real world, putting into practice (we hope) all that has been instilled in her the past ten-plus years. another one of our girls entered tech school two weeks ago, and it’s been interesting to hear her adventures, watch her become a little more sure of herself, a bit more of a grown-up. she was so nervous the night before her classes started, and it reminded me so much of myself two years ago, full of fear and worries that I had configured in my head. “Fear is nothing more than an illusion” is the phrase that we all ought to put on repeat.

through Caro entering college, I’ve found in myself several smidges of motherliness I didn’t realize were there. when I hear about immature boys (or “men”) at school that said stupid words to her, her having to walk by herself, or some of the rules for her classes, i literally get upset and want to confront those responsible. "Well you tell them I said this!" has made the other house moms giggle at my indignance. i’m also realizing that being a house mom requires a lot of sacrifice, sometimes because you want the best for your girls, but other times because they’re not responsive or responsible, or they’re just caught up in the midst of, once again, transition. i’m realizing how much my parents have sacrificed for me- both in ways big and small- and I am so much more appreciative of it now. 

things that were once hidden have become more clear, more lighted, and I’m beginning to understand, bit by piece. some days are still a haze, but I can feel the light fighting to penetrate forth.

night out

last friday, we went to a youth weekend mini-conference at another church in Puebla. i've never been to another Mexican church outside of the ministry's, and it was great. interestingly enough, the pastor, youth pastor, and some of the musicians were of my same color skin (missionaries from Canada).

the worship there was like none other i've experienced. you could tell the musicians were using their God-given talents to the maximum. i'd puff myself up and say that i'm a concert vet, but my brother and friend back home would laugh at me, them having been to triple of what i have. anyways, so i pay major attention to fine detail and appreciate intricacy, and these musicians encapsulated all of that. God has crafted us so incredibly detailed and descriptive, and the notes entering my ears were an audible reflection of that. as i was worshipping, i just felt waves of peace and intimacy with Christ.

sinking through eternity--

i'm not exaggerating when i tell you that it was transcendent.

and what the bearded Canadian man spoke on was that God is so full of grace. He wants us, and not what we can offer him; just us as our entire beings. Grace is not preached enough, and it is not a dangerous message- it is a redemptive one, letting us know that we dont have to do it on our own, we dont have to run away when we mess up, we dont have to sink under an ocean of shame, knowing that there's so much more but not being able to be a part of it. God extends us His grace to rescue us, to redeem us, to captivate us and to draw us closer to Him.

ARE YOU GETTING THIS ?? YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE 'GOOD ENOUGH'!!

Christ's blood has covered you, brother! dear sister, He just wants YOU!!

He just wants you-- so desperately.

15 de agosto

two weeks in and feeling at home. not in the sense that i'm completely comfortable and all is bright and cheery, but moreso in the sense that this is where i'm supposed to be.

im trying to fill these big shoes as well as i can. somedays being a supervisor is tough, because it requires sacrifice and being more mature than youre used to, and processing everything and not letting little actions slip through the cracks without confronting them. im trying, and im learning.

the one goal i have is to be more real. not to rely on myself, on being funny and entertaining, but on how God wants to move, what words He wants me to speak into lives here, what questions He wants me to ask. being vulnerable makes me uncomfortable, but it's what i need. 

you need to be vulnerable if you want to find yourself. hiding behind disguises and strong points 

will leave you feeling so alone and misunderstood.

"what we read in scripture is, Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. he trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own."

-romans 4:3

6 de agosto 2013

feeling myself drawing near to a breakdown. it’s funny, cus Alisha told me the staff told her you’d experience one in the first two weeks, then in the first three months, another at half a year, and then one at your year. add (doubtfully subtract) five or ten or fifteen.

i’ve got a tired feeling that seeps down to my bones. it’s from all this transition.

it’s been fascinating to listen to the teen girls’ stories- how they slept on nothing but the floor, were beaten as if it was just customary, their parents made promises, family passed away, were torn from their brothers and sisters and haven’t heard news of them for years…. and yet they sit in front of you, eyes open wide, breathing, surviving. like, how’d they make it through??

now, they’re not all in one piece. but who honestly can say that anyone is?

and here’s me, Stateside born-and-raised, with her family loving and intact, never been devoid of any material luxury, nor abused by those she trusts most.

who am I to relate to the tragedies you’ve wrought through?

i’m just some twenty year old girl.

but that’s so far from the point.

i can’t do it on mere human terms. i can’t do it at all.

>>God is the One that can restore. His Son is the One that can relate. His Spirit is the One that equips you, that guides you, that brings you out victorious.<<

He works through the both of us, to speak to where both of us are at,
to weave our stories together, to allow us to teach each other through what He is teaching
both of us. we’re in this together, because He is what we’re in.

only His words are the words that will bring healing. i must seek Him first to know His words, before i try to give them on my own accord.

this is key.

a constant reminder to me.

a quick check-in

i made it to Mexico safe! 8 hours with 3 flights, a can of spicy tomato juice and some dried banana chips. i was so nervous about my suitcase being overweight, and prayed about it the night before and on the ride in. when i set it on the scale to weigh, it comes up as

50.0 LBS

i was so overjoyed. how many times does the scale come up as exactly 50 ?!

anyways, so i have started my internship here. i am placed as an assistant house mom with the older girls (16-19), as well working in the office on American- and occasional Mexican- affairs. it's alot to take in and learn, but i really am enjoying it.

thanks to everyone who has been supporting me and praying for me. it's going farther than you know. i appreciate you all!!

i will as well, try to keep the blog updated regularly. as for the moment, i am just trying to get settled in a get a feel for how weeks will go. but its always an adventure down here :)

if youre interested in contacting me, you can reach me at my email ketilipke@lovehopemercy.org

if you're interested in helping financially towards my internship, i am shooting for 500 dollars a month. you can support monthly or one-time (although monthly is more fun :). it really doesnt matter the amount, just whatever you feel led to give. you can send and make checks out to (with my name written in the memo)

Living Hope International
PO Box 116
West Bend, WI 53095

:)