27.3.13

Today was bien lovely. We had a workout this morning, warming as the sun came up, then chips covered in beans and cheese for breakfast. Legit, my kind of breakfast. I like way Mexico does it. :) Then at 8:30, the 11 of us (soon to be 10- Jahir’s leaving…) headed out with two younger boys from EV for the huge public market to ask for donations. We split up in different groups this time, and I was with Jose Luis, Andrea, Lalo, Jahir, Manuel, + Angie. Me, Lalo, + Andrea asked vendors on the left side, and the other half asked on the right. We switched who was asking with each vendor, and for the first seven minutes, everyone was like “no, right now no, my boss isn’t here, not now, maybe another day, other people already passed by.” Also me + Andi were scared to ask men, and Lalo just didn’t want to participate. But after the first ten minutes, we started to fall into comfortability with rejection, and people started giving generously- I think we filled up 3 cartloads in the first 90 minutes. Then Andi + Angie stayed back with our bus driver to pick up things from a store, so I went out with the boys, and me + Lalo kept our team, racing ahead to ask more and more. I decided to stomp out my fear several times today and just ask, without worrying about what would happen next- yayy! Anyways it just felt adventurous. At one point we found ourselves trailing three men who we didn’t even know, because they had yellow shirts that looked the same as that of Jose Luis, and I couldn’t stop laughing hysterically. Another time we strolled around a market we had just covered, entered into it through a different entrance, and without recognizing the place, started asking again for donations. Exhibit B of what the heck are we thinking! Haha.  Then at 1:30, we all got on the bus, and waited for Richie, our bus driver, to return with tortillas. Meanwhile Lalo’s in the back, digging through the food, and brings two green chiles to the front, asking “who’s going accept the chili challenge with me?” Naturally, I said yes, choosing to live the #whynotlife. Alisha taped it, and goshdang did it burn the crap out of my tongue. I had tears streaming down my face combined with the hiccups, and Lalo was screaming “MAS MANGO MAS MANGO MAS MANGO!”  Then when we got back, we ate, washed dishes, and then had a “faith challenge” which churned  my stomach, but I managed to complete most of it anyway. I’m learning to act on God’s impulses, little by little, and I’m glad for this. 

the little ones

i’ve had the lovely chance to supervise the little boys and the little girls (separate days) for two hours in this past week or so. I am realizing how much patience it takes, and how much parenting, or at least caring for kids, is a forever a trial and error kinda deal. the little boys were absolutely frightening and glorious at the same time, and it only took two minutes to develop a truckload of respect for their supervisor. none of them wanted to listen to me, even though Emma’s homework would only take him 30 seconds to complete, and Lucas making his bed ONE more time would not give him the black plague. but it ended with me reading the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection to Guillermo and then continually crashing cars into each other for twenty minutes. it was delightful. this past tuesday, I got to watch the three youngest girls: Carla, Pati, + Evelin. we played marbles for an hour, with Carla slinging them all across their room and giggling neverendingly, and then went outside to play with Barbies while a storm rolled in, and they bathed their plastic dolls in the running water of the Garden of Hope and got the bottom of their pants and their knees plastered in water and grass. sometimes you’ve gotta let little girls unleash their little boy side. i’m just starting to learn how precious new minds are, the fresh perspective they bring, the infectiousness of their cherry happiness, and what a testimony they stand to the whole restoration found in Jesus Christ. 

slowly but surely

+ slowly but surely, Mexico has begun settling into my bones.
it is not something you can easily run away from. i think it happens during nighttime, when you dreams are still stuck up in the airplane that carried you between countries. but also when you’re in the thick of it, whizzing past street venders, footsteps on the cobblestone pavement; each breathful of air slowly leaking into your veins, and you all of a sudden realize going back will never be the same.

23.3.13

So yesterday, we had our Reto Extremo (Extreme Challenge), which was a physical challenge this time. We were told the night before that we needed to, by 9:30 the next morning, fill our [alpine] backpacks full of 30 pounds of rocks and 3 liters of water. So that’s what we did.. or so we thought. When Josh asked to see our water, most of us had under 3 liters (I had 2 ½), and this is what followed:

Josh: “..two hundred pushups.”
us: “haha um”
Josh:
us: “without our backpacks, right?”
Josh: “..with.”
us:
Josh:
us:
Josh: “next time listen to the details, eh?”

At this point I’m trying to think positive and have a good attitude, but let’s be real, I have chicken muscles. I lowered myself for the first one and was immediately pressed all the way to the grass thanks to my 30 pound load of rocks. After recovering from that, I managed to crank out 95 (only going down one inch with my arms- I’m not Hulk), before he got sick of waiting for us and told us what our actual challenge was. There is this hill, well small mountain- I’m told it’s actually a dead volcano- that is about 5 or 8 miles from the orphanage, covered in trees. Our mission was to walk to it, climb up to the top, climb down and come back (without tossing out rocks on the way), as well as encounter someone in our journey, pray over them, and bless them with a prophetic word from God.

It was 10:30AM when 8 of 11 of us headed out under the cloudless sky, sun shining bright overhead. Not seven minutes in, we see a man up ahead arriving at a field to work. I started praying for him, asking that God would put a word or image on my heart that would encourage him. After a bit, I felt the word “espera” (which means wait) pressed into my chest. When we reached this man, Gustavo stopped and asked about how far the mountain was, and then asked if we could pray for him, just that God would bless his life + work. So we did, and while we were praying, I saw in my mind an image of a heart being covered by a darkish mold substance. I asked God what He wanted me to do with that, like what it meant or what I should say, but I didn’t get anything past that. Well Manuel finished the prayer, no one had anything to say, so they said goodbye and started walking away. I felt like I should share the word with the man (for whatever it was worth), so I said “I feel like God gave me a word to share with you, which is wait, and He will give you rest.” Esmi then piped up “Yeah, I also felt like there’s an area of your life where there’s a lack of forgiveness, like I saw your heart harboring something that is hard to let go, but I want you to know that there is forgiveness.” The man’s eyes clouded over a bit and he looked in the distance and said “Yeah, it is really hard to forgive.” And Esmi said “There is forgiveness.” And then we smiled and left. And I was just really… filled with joy at what happened, cus both me and Esmi had gotten different messages from God that fit together to speak to this man.

Throughout this trek to the mountain, we walked through the dustiest of fields, passed five burros, walked down several never-ending dirt roads, talked about the food we wanted to eat at the moment, and climbed the skinny, rocky-slippery paths to reach the top of the mountain, taking multiple stops to restore our breath. So remember that this mountain is actually a dead baby volcano? We got to the cauldron part, and there was all these random itty fires burning. I was like, the heck? Who’s starting fires in the forest? Does Smokey Bear care about this part of the world? But I guess it was related to its volcanic past? Anyways, at this point, I was feeling incredibly childish (roughly the mentality of a seven-year-old) so I began throwing pinecones at everyone’s head and giggling hysterically. I think my humor was lost on some people. Also I started scurrying around stomping out the fires, shrieking “I’M SAVING YOUR LIVES IM SAVING THE WORLD”. 

birthday night

the best part about bus rides home is that you are either deliriously goofy or dreamland-tired. birthday night i wasn’t expecting anything exciting- birthdays have become just another day on the calendar for me. me + angie were sitting next to each other, talking about food we wanted to eat, trying to ignore Marcial- the normal. i can’t remember if she told me first or if i spotted them, but all of a sudden there were fireworks blowing up over the city skyline. not a whole bunch, but one or two- enough to make me sit on the edge of my seat, expectantly excited for more, like the feeling you have while underneath the stars, hoping to catch the start of a shooting star, but needing only a glimpse to stir up a smile. over the rest of the ride home, we caught about five more- brilliant, bursting, descending hope down over the city, into us. enough to make me feel like I was special, sitting next to a lady who is close to my heart, sharing the same day of saying hello to the world for the first time. 

21.3.13

self-eval day today. it went good. my favorite piece of advice was:

We encourage you to make mistakes. We want you to make them.

okay, obvi the point here is not to screw up everything in your life, but to reach out and do radical things, and learn through your mistakes in the process. this is where organic growth comes from: trying, messing up, learning, and trying again. i have always had a fear of errors, a fear that causes me to live inside a shell of comfort and quietness, always lingering in the background shadow, never daring to leap to the front, stick my hands in the mud and create something. they said please do radical things; if we are always the ones to push you to do these things, when you leave, you are going to fall back into your way of doing things, because the change has not come from inside you. i believe this wholeheartedly.

                for the past…well…most of my life, I have fallen into the easy comfort of blending in with the crowd, barely daring to dance on the fringe of being loca. i have convinced myself that I am an introvert, and for this reason, it’s acceptable to be timid, shy, hesitant, content with this man-made label, content to live inside its boundaries. but you know what? MAN

DOES NOT

DEFINE ME.

God does. He didn’t make me to  sit on the corner, clapping faintly, becoming one with the floral wallpaper. He made me for so much more. He made you for so much more. strip yourself of all the tags you have slapped on yourself and allowed to reside on your body for however many years- these brands mean nothing. you are so much more than a category- you are a complex soul with worlds existing outside of your body. breathe it and believe it. God made you for something ridiculous, and I mean that word in the absolute loveliest of ways.

18.3.13

I didn’t get much time to write this week- it seems like life just keeps picking up, spinning faster and faster. But there are some breaks inbetween all the busyness, and they are so sweet. Haha. A couple of highlights from this week:

·         We went to a huge public market on Wednesday, to ask for food donations for the orphanage. We broke into two groups, and would ask each vendor we passed if they would like to donate some food to feed our kids (and us ;)). Some people said no, some gave us money (six pesos, hahaha), others gave a couple onions or avocados, and some people gave really generously, like a whole bag of carrots or a crapload of fruit. It was neat to see just what asking a simple question does, and it was okay to be rejected- not everyone had surplus that they could give.

·         On Saturday, we had our “Extreme Challenge” (like we always do), and this weekend, instead of a physical beating :P, it was a ministry challenge. We were told to break into three groups, mixing boys and girls, and we were given five hours to complete a list- kind of like a scavenger hunt, but with people and goals. One of the things listed was to worship on a public corner for 8 minutes (one of my personal favorites- it was raining, and I didn’t know any of the songs very well, but we sang at the top of our lungs and clapped and danced anyway); seek out a police officer and thank them for the work they do, and ask if we can pray for them and their protection; locate someone from Africa, Europe, or Asia and share the gospel with them and pray for them (this one was neat, because we spotted foreign people on a tourbus, so Gustavo tried to talk to them in Spanish but they didn’t understand cus they were German, so I prayed for them in English cus they understood that, and translated for Gustavo, and yeah! It was neat to use my native tongue :P); enter a coffeeshop, and ask God for a specific word of affirmation or encouragement to share with someone. This last one was neat too, I was praying but not really receiving anything, so I went to the bathroom. The bathroom was in a dark hall, and the bathroom was even darker, like I could even see, and I was kind of afraid cus I don’t like the dark in general, so I had to slide my hand all over the walls to find the lightswitch- which I finally found, and then I could see clear. When I came back to our table, I wasn’t really sure if that was a word from God or not, or if I was trying to pull random things out in my desperateness haha, but anyways we got up and shared with a young woman what we thought God had put on our heart. Gustavo had seen something to do with a son, and Brayan had gotten something about family or wanting a family. I told her that sometimes in our lives, we have parts of ourselves that are super dark and obscure and we have no idea where anything is, and we have to be brave enough to reach around and find that switch, so we know where we are and what we’re doing. The girl told us she had found the light a year and a half ago, and her dad had died a year ago, and that she didn’t have a son but yes wanted a family one day, and that her sister had slipped into a deep depression after her dad had died. Anyways so we chatted for awhile, prayed with her, and told her we’d pray for her sister as well. That was neat. Other groups came back with stories how they walked the whole time because none of them had money for bus tickets, another girl had gotten a word from God telling her to tell this young man “don’t worry about your upcoming trip- it’s going to be fine, and you’ll be safe”, so she walked up to the this boy the word was for, shared it, and he was dumbstruck cus she was right on. He said “Wow.. I normally don’t believe in God or things like this, but maybe I should! Thank you!” One other thing we did that I really liked was get on the public bus, and all of us prayed silently for the bus driver, and wrote down on a piece of paper what we felt like God wanted to tell him. Well while we were doing this, a man dressed as a clown got on, and started talking and SHARING THE GOSPEL! We were like “awesome!” So we talked to him afterwards, and asked him if he wanted to come with us for a bit, and he did! It was really neat.

·         One day, we went to Naciones Church to do cleaning for FOUR hours. The church has flags of practically every country hanging from the ceiling, so the boys put together scaffolding, and we had to push them around so they could take down the flags, then washed the flags, then put them back up! It was a lot of work, considering the ceiling is like forty feet high. Not complaining ;)

·         I have had quesadillas twice from street vendors, and I am officially announcing that I am breaking vedge to indulge myself. I believe that street vendor meat is more local ;P, and the food is just too tasty to pass up!

That’s about all I can sum up! I hate to write novels for my blog posts unless I really need to. Hope this week is lovely for you readers, and this week I challenge you to break out of your comfort zone, to ask God to give you something out that challenges you. Don’t just ask Him once, and without commitment- keep asking till you get it! He will come through for you, sometimes not always in the ways you expect, but He’ll come through, He won’t leave you dry and empty-handed. 

an ode to pan

I would like to speak about how much I love pan dulce (which translates into sweet bread, or bread treats, whatever). We have it every breakfast and supper, and I always go straight for the donuts or other good nutty kind. Sometimes I have two pieces, or eat other people’s. The other night we had chicken mole pie, and it was honestly the greatest meal. I can’t pass up bread. This is alarming because I know I should probably fast from it sometime in my future :P. I love this aspect of Mexican culture. Please more pan #pleasemorepan.

i write like a child.

thoughts

something i wrote in college last year, just thinking about media and the way it works.

I think that consuming is incredibly important to so many Americans. We get caught up in what Apple sells or the newest fashion or latest beauty trend or the coolest style of music, and then try to shape our lives around that. We want to attain these things so we can be the “coolest cat on the block”. And yet, when we get these things, we’re never really sure if they really represent us or if we’re just joining the bandwagon to fit in with everyone else.

One thing consumerism overplays is the worth of external beauty. The makeup and hair industry must rake in so much money by convincing women that they NEED to be beautiful, and they have no worth if they do not look a certain way.  It seems like they’re telling us to pile on the product to hide who we really are: “discard your natural beauty, your true self, and come on look like our perfect ideal!” It’s kinda sickening to think about.  Consumers believe this lie, lose respect for themselves, and start following the marketer and producer. The marketer continues to cut down their customers, because that’s what pulled them in in the first place.  Granted, Dove has taken steps to embrace this, but they’re still selling their product. It’s like fake individuality.  Our concept of true beauty has gotten so skewed that you can only be truly beautiful on the outside.  They don’t sell things or give you advice to cultivate a beautiful soul! “Forget your soul, and focus on your body.”  Our bodies are merely casings for the lasting soul inside! So instead of focusing on important values, like honesty and trust and love, we’ve skewed them so we can push our products! For example: “if he loved you, he’d use a condom” “if he loved you, he’d buy you diamonds”. This is clearly a marketing strategy that turns truth on its head. Production is manipulating our minds to convince us they know the truth. Now it is common to say “I love your shirt! Love your hair! Love your teeth!” Really? Are you committed to their shirt till the end of time? Have you said your vows? Are you willing to put that shirt before yourself? Come on people. Love is thrown around far too often and commercialized into something it is not.

Also I watched a documentary in poli sci about these marketers who followed kids into their homes and videotaped everything they did, just so they could get a better idea of what they liked and what they reacted well to in order to market to their products better. They weren’t even using that information to learn psychological information to benefit the kids and help them with issues they were dealing with.  This is how the manufacturer has become slave to his own product. Even if he doesn’t believe in it or the image or message it portrays, he will continue to sell it because it will get him money, which will in turn make him happy. To stop producing this or speak out against it would be to go against the grain, which society often seems to look down upon. Success is measured in terms of how large your income is, how steep your bank account, how many “fancy” things and “high-on-the-social-ladder” events you attend. We don’t care who or what gets in our way- we squash them. “Sorry, I’m on my way to the top, and you’re just an obstacle I need to trample over to get there.” What is the top anyway? Some stupid ideal we’ve created. We assume we have all this time to enjoy our riches, that these things will last and sustain and hold us together. But we never know when it is our time to go. In reality we’re only just a coronary ready to blow, or dormant cancer, or a car crash away from the exit of our bodies.  So why spend this whole time adorning our bodies when it’s only temporary anyway? Throughout this life, we are only preparing to exit our bodies.  So we should be building into and encouraging and loving each other’s souls, not our outside appearances. What are our bodies worth? “Store up your treasures in heaven, where rust and moths do not destroy.” The Bible backs this up clearly, knowing that our souls will be the only thing entering the afterlife, whether heaven or hell.

The American is always reaching for more goods in search of what makes them whole. If we take a step back and look at how people are surviving in other countries, in way worse circumstances with way less than what we have, yet with so much more happiness, how could we think that material items are going to fill us? The more we have, the more we have to depend on, and none of these things last. They rot away, and what are we left with when we die? An empty body that we’ve poured so much into yet lies there decaying in a casket. It’s our souls that will last. Oops sorry we didn’t invest much in those. We were so concerned about how we measured up, how we appeared to others. #WHOOPS. In order to keep making a living, producers have to keep making more things to sell, more lies or tricks to make their products sell, and thus we just fall deeper into consumption. We need to take a step back and get our priorities straight. The cultivation of material simplicity and relational richness is what will result in true happiness. If we aren’t happy with the version we have now, what makes us think we could be happy with a ‘better’ version? We will always find a little flaw to complain about, or it will just get boring and we’ll want something bigger and better. Consuming doesn’t end unless you find a way to control and train your appetite, and consume things that are healthy and nourishing.

The amount of money we spend on ad campaigns and purchasing these cheaply put-together products is unreal. Imagine if we invested that into our education systems, our social uplift programs, our resources for the down-and-out. Now that would be an act of serious value. Money well spent on something that is going to matter, that is going to last. Teach people to think for themselves, rather than trying to skew concepts into one narrow, corrupt tunnel of vision.  Have we honestly found nothing better to do with our time than to lie and waste money? Seems like a forgettable existence. It’s time to leave a lasting legacy. Apathy is the easy way out. 

interim to interim

there isn’t always this “big plan”. sometimes it’s just interim to interim, + even if you are living in a big plan, it’s always moment by moment. you just have to trust that these interims count for something, that they’re still incredibly important. you’re still gonna get used. have patience + prepare as much as you can in this one for the next one- you don’t get to revisit your past. so revel in it while you can, + don’t let any opportunity slip by without making the most of it.

12.3.13

quietly I have found myself accustomed to this way of life- always the element of surprise, the quick changes, sinking in confusion but being accepted anyway, ideas coming out of nowhere that have lovely branches. I find that I myself am much the same: quiet, loony, fearful, but goshdang I have this unrelenting desire to sing, sing aloud, sing until my heart ruptures out. I never feel homesick when I am surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ- this is where my home resides. life is slowly making hints of sense, and God is forever just out of my grasp. there is always something new to learn. Esthela left today (family problems) and a part of me wishes I had encouraged her more to stay- but who knows what was in her heart, and what God’s plans for her are. we have to pray and trust her to His hands. days here are slipping by faster and faster, despite the incredible longevity of each day, and the fastness is less alarming to me here, for reasons unknown. separation from the American rat race has never felt so fantastic. it is here I have discovered purpose backing my minutes.

for anyone who isn’t interested in reading my thoughts and would rather know straight up facts, haha, here are some: the food is always spicy to some extent. I usually love what we eat, but one morning we had green soup for breakfast that closely resembled algae, and I had about seven spoonfuls before lying about how full I was ;). I think my Spanish is improving but it’s hard to tell how much, and there are some days (like today) that I just can’t understand or speak worth a crap, and I just want to yell !! one lady from the group from the States last week told me that I was a dreamer (meaning I dream a lot/vividly and God uses this to speak to me), which I am beginning to believe because my dreams are always strange, long, and vivid, and Jahir actually helped me interpret one the other day that made a lot of sense + resonated with me. I cried for the first time this past Sunday, cus we were 15 minutes late for our curfew (which doesn’t seem like a lot, but might as well translate into DEATH PENALTY- punishments around here are pretty severe), and I had a mountain of homework I still had to do, and was just stressed and frustrated. The girls here are so sugar sweet and encouraged me and stroked my hair haha, and it wound up that half our homework was erased, and Josh forgave us for being late. Glory to God, because I was not looking forward to 100 crunches and 50 push-ups.

If anyone is feeling tired or down or unmotivated or stagnant in their faith, I dare you to do something about it. Put on a song that inspires you, that makes you look at the world through rose lenses, and go for a drive on a back country road. Find quotes that resonate all the way down to your toes, and write them on your walls or your cupboard or your mirrors or on a piece of paper and plaster them on places you always look at. Get out of you house and discover someplace special, secluded, that allows you to catch your breath and believe again. Fall in love with the people around you and encourage them in creative ways. I dare you to come back to life, and enter into it full, with the One who knows every last shred of information about you and loves you the same. Remember that you were created specifically for a purpose, with opportunities that no one else has, that you ought to take advantage of while you have them within your grasp. In the words of my favorite band, step outside your box. Break fiercely out of your bubble of comfort, and learn to breathe the air that fills your lungs with the best kind of terror.

4.3.13

Today, well last night super late, a group came, from the States, from all different sides, and are teaching our classes this week on prophecy, which has so far been superpadre. I had originally thought prophecy was something like people yelling from street corners about the doom of the world, people from the Old Testament who usually only had bad news. Whoops. In this book we’re reading, it’s defined as the manner in way God speaks through one person to another, like through feeling a certain urge that pops up out of nowhere (to talk to someone, your arm suddenly hurts in the presence of someone else, to share your money, a verse, an image, whatever), or through dreams, visions, etc. WHICH, granted, sounds super scary, but hello, it’s not demonic. It’s from the living, loving God. And prophecy is used to encourage and build each other up, whether you know the person or not…it’s just really neat how God speaks to us (or uses us to speak to others) in a billion different manners. Anyways, so the group talked for a two hours, and then we went outside to practice, which also sounds weird and terrifying, haha. But it was actually pretty neat. They had the twelve of us form two lines, back to back, not looking at who was behind us, then mixed us up again so we wouldn’t know who we were praying for, and then pray for a minute, asking God to reveal for us something for that person. So we did that, and what Andi had for me was a flower she saw in her mind, starting to bloom and spread open, like a rebirth she described it, and a fountain of water pouring down over it- which is pretty accurate, considering the way I’ve been feeling lately. Other people had spot-on images for their partner as well, like Jahir with Esthela- what played behind his eyelids matched exactly with what she shared with me heart-to-heart last night. I got so excited upon hearing it ! For me personally, I didn’t have ridiculous huge revelations (hehe) but just slight impressions in my mind. It was the first time I’ve ever done anything like that, and so I didn’t know what to pay attention to or pray for, but it was really neat to just see words from God unfold over all of us. Tonight, during our group devotional with the interns here (who are mostly our age), one of the interns living in the dorm with us prayed over me, and she told me that while she was praying for me, she saw me standing on the edge of a diving board, looking over a deep, vast body of water. I hadn’t jumped in yet, but was getting ready to, and she said she thought that it was like me looking down into God, and I had no idea just how deep and endless He is. She told me not to worry about hitting my head or drowning, but just jump in and see, because once I do, there will be so many great things in store for me. I told her that it carried a similar message to what Andi had said, and that I related to it a lot because I’ve become, well, an “American Christian” (how I like to label it)- content with going to church every Sunday, occasionally reading my Bible, and getting fired up at Christian events, but never much more. It was just really…beautiful to hear those words today, and know that God is thinking of me and pursuing me, and encouraging me to seek Him out, because in Him, there is ridiculously abundant life.

3.3.13

Every day I think I fall more and more in love with this country, with these people. I always think about endings at the beginning, which is silly, but I have already been thinking how hard it’s going to be to watch this family disband and go separate ways. I can only imagine how much closer we’re all going to get. It is a beautiful thing to watch develop- slowly, like a morning glory during sunrise, but goodness is it stunning. I am enamored with the volcano, with the mexico city lights at night, spread out across the country like fallen stars on the ground. I am enamored with the way God sweeps me away during every worship time, and that crossing borders doesn’t necessarily mean you’re moving into new territory, because you find that all the same problems, the same struggles, the same dreams, the same God exists across state lines. The thought, or desire rather, of living here on day keeps seeping its way inside my lungs when I least expect it, and I find myself become more and more accustomed to this yearning. We are still are broken ships no matter how far away we sail from our normal day-to-day life. I’m not sure I’ll ever breathe normal again.

the first week

Written: 24.2.13 (the way they do dates here)

The first week went really well ! We’re moving into the next one nice and sore. Haha. There are twelve of us in total, split right down the middle with guys and girls: me, Alisha (the other American), Angie, Esmirna, Andrea, Estela, Manuel, Jahir, Gustavo, Oscar, Eduardo, + Brayan. The oldest one here is 32, + the youngest is 18. I share a birthday with one of the girls here (crazy!), but she’s a year younger so we’re not twins. The first night here, the boys suggested we have a mini-devo outside, so we did, and sang worship songs until our room curfew, 8:30pm (so early for this American chica). It was absolutely wonderful. Since then we’ve all continued to connect really well, encourage each other, and laugh hysterically at each other. It’s kind of like being up at Fort, except half the time I don’t know what the hell anyone’s saying, haha. We exercise pretty hardcore on Mondays-Wednesdays-Fridays-Saturdays. On the 23^rd we went to the Cholula Pyramid Ruins (look it up the internet if you’d like) and more or less ran up and down it from 10-1, learning phrases of a Bible verse with each completion. A few of our hermanos made it up and down 15 times- ridiculous, because it’s super steep and long.

Our daily schedule differs from day to day, but we usually wake up around 6:30, give or take 20 minutes, shower or exercise, eat breakfast, then have devotional time (whether individual or group), where we worship (Jahir + Esmi play guitar, and Manuel leads singing), share whatever’s on our heart, and read a bit of the Bible. It’s always lovely. Then we might have classes, or time to study, or giving presentations. We eat lunch super late, at 2:30 (another thing that’s hard for this American to get used to), then watch the kids or have more classes or help out at a gathering at church. It really depends. Every Sunday we serve in some capacity at the church, whether it be greeting others, being an usher, helping out with kids/babies, etc.  It’s a teeny bit scary because I’m not super confident with my Spanish so I never know if I’m gonna fall flat on my face or what :P. But it’s starting to feel like home. Okay, a few highlights from this week:

·         one of the first nights, Josh, our [bilingual] leader, took us to apparently the biggest rock climbing place in S. America (don’t quote me on that), and we got to rock climb for four hours for 80 pesos (about 7 USD). Normally I like to fade into the background with pretty much any event and just watch, but they encouraged to me to climb so I did it twice, and surprised myself the second time by making it all the way to top, which was FIFTY FEET!!! Admittedly it was a bit terrifying, because it’s hard to trust the person who’s holding your rope and if they’re gonna let you fall to your too-early death. I misplaced my breath multiple times during the climb. There is something I pulled from it though, which is this: Climbing isn’t always easy, and it’s scary as hell sometimes, especially when you don’t have a strong grip on your next step. It’s kind of like life. Sometimes you’re not confident in where you’re going, and you have to do some backtracking in order to get farther than where you were before. Sometimes you lose grip and slip a couple feet, and sometimes you choke on your lack of oxygen and can’t think straight. But Christ is always holding your rope. It’s okay to just let go of the rocks on the wall and rest in Him. He’s not going to let you fall. And when you’re ready, you can either reach back to the wall and keep climbing upwards to the top, or share knowing glances with Him that you can’t do this anymore, lower yourself back down, and search out another wall to climb. ;)

·         there is a bilingual dictionary I have that has rando phrases in it, some of which no one in their lives would ever use, + which are absolutely hilarious… at night, when you’re in bed, tired and goofy as hell. Haha. So far we have at least six inside jokes from the dumb thing, referenced at least once a day. When we all got back at 10 one night from older people youth group, us viñieras ate our supper of rice, milk, and sugar mixed (it’s like Mexican oatmeal, + super yummy!), and were in tears at least half the time from the laughter. My Spanish pronunciation is mad crap a lot of the time, so they always make fun of me (glad we’re all that comfortable). I’m laughing as I write this, and I would tell what we said, but no one else is going to find it funny L haha. #insidejokeproblems

·         early in the week we played kickball with the kids, us versus them actually, and lost embarrassingly both times. But it was a good time of connecting and having fun with each other.

Other things I missed.. the weather here is comfortable, 70 to 80s everyday (don’t be fooled- it’s only for a couple hours in the afternoon!), barely any clouds, super cold in the mornings and night (like 40s..i know, not as bad as the Midwest right now), it doesn’t rain, and it’s frustratingly windy. 15+ MPH WIND IS MY LEAST FAVORITE WEATHER OCCURRENCE. Lunch is our biggest meal, and I’ve had to break vedge a bit (shhh.. don’t tell- I have to eat some meat, otherwise my hair will fall out!). Breakfast + supper we usually have pan dulce (bread with fancy toppings) and a bowl of something light. And lots of tea.

We have to keep our bed and closets RIDICULOUSLY organized- everything has to be stacked neatly, even toiletries + underwear! #what. Nothing can be on or under your bed (except my teddy ;)), and it must be neatly made. That’s been an uphill battle against myself, haha.

Finally, on a personal level, I’ve been doing well. Stretched, reminding myself to take deep breaths, but well. I haven’t cried yet, and I don’t feel lonely. Don’t get me wrong- I miss my friends + family in the Midwest, but these bones have been acheing for adventure for much too long, and it’s finally being shot into my veins. I’m struggling with understanding everything, the little things, the conversations- it’s fast, and hard to keep up, and I hate that it’s my fault that people have to keep repeating what they’re saying. But I know that that’s the only way to learn. I struggle even more with expressing myself, telling people that I can relate to them, and telling stories, which is pretty much everything, haha. I know that I just need to be patient, that I will be more fluent in time, and just to keep working hard at it. I know this week is going to be more difficult, because classes + homework start for real, and I’m gonna keep having to put myself farther out there, but I’m taking one day at a time. Moment by moment, baby.

Until next week !