self-eval day today. it went good. my favorite piece of
advice was:
We encourage you to make mistakes. We want you to make them.
okay, obvi the point here is not to screw up everything in
your life, but to reach out and do radical things, and learn through your mistakes in the process. this is where organic
growth comes from: trying, messing up, learning, and trying again. i have
always had a fear of errors, a fear that causes me to live inside a shell of
comfort and quietness, always lingering in the background shadow, never daring
to leap to the front, stick my hands in the mud and create something. they said
please do radical things; if we are always the ones to push you to do these
things, when you leave, you are going to fall back into your way of doing things, because the change has not come from
inside you. i believe this wholeheartedly.
for the
past…well…most of my life, I have fallen into the easy comfort of blending in
with the crowd, barely daring to dance on the fringe of being loca. i have
convinced myself that I am an introvert, and for this reason, it’s acceptable
to be timid, shy, hesitant, content with this man-made label, content to live
inside its boundaries. but you know what? MAN
DOES NOT
DEFINE ME.
God does. He
didn’t make me to sit on the corner, clapping faintly, becoming one
with the floral wallpaper. He made me for so much more. He made you for so much
more. strip yourself of all the tags you have slapped on yourself and allowed
to reside on your body for however many years- these brands mean nothing. you
are so much more than a category- you are a complex soul with worlds existing
outside of your body. breathe it and believe it. God made you for something
ridiculous, and I mean that word in the absolute loveliest of ways.
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