27 de agosto-- realizations

something I didn’t really acknowledge before is that my dorm is the one of transition. I was just told that one of our nineteen-year-olds will be moving out today, into a nearby apartment with other young ladies that also grew up here.

I think God is trying to tell me something about this topic, because it quite honestly never leaves me alone.

I’ve only known Maribel for a month, and she’s already leaving. Out into the real world, putting into practice (we hope) all that has been instilled in her the past ten-plus years. another one of our girls entered tech school two weeks ago, and it’s been interesting to hear her adventures, watch her become a little more sure of herself, a bit more of a grown-up. she was so nervous the night before her classes started, and it reminded me so much of myself two years ago, full of fear and worries that I had configured in my head. “Fear is nothing more than an illusion” is the phrase that we all ought to put on repeat.

through Caro entering college, I’ve found in myself several smidges of motherliness I didn’t realize were there. when I hear about immature boys (or “men”) at school that said stupid words to her, her having to walk by herself, or some of the rules for her classes, i literally get upset and want to confront those responsible. "Well you tell them I said this!" has made the other house moms giggle at my indignance. i’m also realizing that being a house mom requires a lot of sacrifice, sometimes because you want the best for your girls, but other times because they’re not responsive or responsible, or they’re just caught up in the midst of, once again, transition. i’m realizing how much my parents have sacrificed for me- both in ways big and small- and I am so much more appreciative of it now. 

things that were once hidden have become more clear, more lighted, and I’m beginning to understand, bit by piece. some days are still a haze, but I can feel the light fighting to penetrate forth.