a misty monday

there has been a quiet fog that has been pulling itself around our shoulders today. the nature of it is soft and drowsy, barely noticeable, and there is a quiet lightness in the air. it calls me to be introspective, and i must believe that this is a spiritual passing.

my soul has been in unrest for this last week, weaving its way back and forth through earlier memories, trying to bind me back to my past.

but today, moving amidst these low-hanging clouds, they seem to insulate against all my nostalgia and home-ache. today i have not been assaulted by my yesteryear. and so i am open to focus less on myself and my creaky bones, and more on my girls and their fractured hearts. not that it's always so obvious that the fissures are there, but i feel it everytime we're all together in one place, speaking in serious tones. the heaviness in each one of our spirits is there-- we all have a certain heaviness weighting our reality. i am not alone in my struggle, nor should i allow my struggle to outweigh theirs. we are here to be echoes of Christ to one another, exhaling hope into the drizzling darkness.

so i must thank my God- for showing me His reassurance through the words of others; for serenely sheltering me with this dreary-yet-dreamlike weather; for loving and pursuing me despite my ever-straying heart.

He wants you and I to be free.

like my wise friend Esmirna Aranda gently reminded me yesterday-

"the victory is in your hands... it's just up to you do something with it."