little big man

one of my favorite little boys left yesterday.

his nickname's Wil. he's ten, and he's witnessed a world of tragedies. he's more accustomed to pain than to love, so each time he encounters something that feels good, it makes him uncomfortable. the result is anger, and he inflicts pain on himself & others.

when he first arrived, eight months ago, he spit saliva & awful words at everyone.
he ripped his clothes, threw rocks at others (both figurative & literally).
he was one of our worst cases.

well, he's been coming into our office lately since he got kicked out of school. a girl in the office nextdoor keeps an eye on him, but he kinda roamed the whole wing, staying halfway occupied with toys or puzzles.

i'm not sure who talked to the other first, but over the course of those mornings, Wil & I became buddies. one morning i told him about airplanes and snow and how pretty the city lights look at night from up in the air, and he asked me if there were planes that robbed little kids, because he'd heard about them. one morning he dumped a slew of candy on my desk, saying it was for me, and i said "hey, how about we go around giving candy to everyone in the office? but! you've got to be sneaky about it and hide it on their desk somewhere." so he passed an impish grin up at me, and we crept around the office, sticking the candy in clever spots.

the morning that sticks out most clearly, though, was this past Tuesday. at 8:15 i was in the office, praying as the sun rose, when he walked in and started conversation. i set down my Bible and we began making shapes out of the three triangular rulers laying next to us. all of a sudden, it occured to me to ask him, "Wil, what's your definition of love?". he shrugged and said "i dont know", so i suggested, "how about i tell you how i define it?", opening my Bible to read him the well-known verses 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. he just listened quietly while i read them, then asked if he could go get a game to play, so i said sure.

he came back ten minutes later with an earring stuck through his ear. "i did it myself," he said. 

trying to take it in stride, i made him take it out and sit down while i disinfected it with hand sanitizer. we then decided to play games outside, going to the Garden of Hope to play Connect Four and Pictureka!. he beat me three times in a row in Connect Four. as we played Pictureka!, we got stumped on an image of underwear that we couldn't find anywhere on the board... i kept telling him we couldn't give up and finally, after five minutes, i prayed a simple prayer that God would help us find them. what dyou know, the next minute we found them. a little bit later, we got stumped on an image again, and he asked me "are you going to pray?"

when we returned to the office, he sat down in Gera's chair, playing with the knickknacks on his desk. i whispered to him, "why don't you leave him a note of encouragement?", so he grabbed a pen and cupped his hands around a small piece of paper. after he was done, he tucked it under Gera's mouse pad. i checked it later. it read:

"COURAGE, BECAUSE GOD LOVES YOU
AND CARES FOR YOU GERARDO."

we went on to play soccer and Uno, giggling up a storm, soft-smack-talking, having a blast. there was one point where he burst into laughter after laying down a "draw four", his light-filled eyes and big smile sparking so much joy in my soul.

...and the next day he left. he didn't want to be here anymore, wanted to return to where he came from. when i went to bid him goodbye, i put a note in his pocket that said "1 Corinthians 13. I love you Wil", gave him a bag full of fruit snacks, gum, and granola bars (all of which he ate before he left... #typicalboy), and hugged him real tight to my chest. he didn't say anything, only hugged me back.

hey Wil.
missing you in the mornings, little man.
you taught me alot about how to love.
i'm gonna keep praying God sends you an angel to keep you safe and show you how much He loves you.