home

i used to think home was one, solitary place.
home base.

at the age of twelve, i thought my world was crushed. my home base was moved now two hours south, everything backwards: out in the country instead of in the city, going to public school instead of private school, not really knowing a soul.
so i cried alot, and muddied through the change with clenched fists and a quiet stare. i hated the first year, hated all the changes, hated everything but mostly out of spite, with the slowly dying hope that someday i'd get to go back.

well i never went back. i finished my junior high and high school years in that country town that rapidly grew into a new home. i caught myself, one day, actually grateful for the move, grateful for all the amazing people and awesome experiences it provided me with. i couldnt have imagined growing up any other way.

in my high school years, i started to branch out a bit, taking missions trips to Mexico every summer as well as volunteering my help at a Christian camp five hours north. i began to meet even more lovely people on both ends, my roots slowly wandering down deeper into these new soils.

home wasn't one place anymore.
it was a myriad of places, smells, feelings, changes, faces.

but homes always change.

so what is home now?

home's just being close to you, even when we don't share words or are out of laughter.
home's walking up the stairs to my dormitory.
home's brushing my girls' hair.
home's being in the office, being teased by my co-workers and laughing so hard tears slip out.
home's getting real with my sister and brother in law about how hard this lifestyle is.
home's giggling with my best friend over a Skype call and pretending that there isn't 4,000 miles in between us.

it's opening myself up to this peace Jesus gives me, that walking in His will, i'm right where He wants me to be... home.