His strength is made perfect in our weakness

i’ve been unable to encounter much oxygen lately. i won't say much except for that it’s mostly my fault; just a lack of prioritizing this time I’ve been given well.

so I’m sitting in first service worship today when God whispers, breaking His words over me like a water balloon.

keti.. it’s not all about receiving. hasn’t your heart said that it wants to give more? so give. you have received much. it’s time to start giving back and pouring out. in my frustrated human state of mind, I clenched my firsts and whispered back “God, what do I have to give right now?? i have nothing. i feel all used up.”

and He said “you have nothing to give.

but I do.”

suddenly i understood. do you know why i can’t give anything right now? because I’m depending on my strength. I am reaching inside of myself, hoping to find something to give to others, but continuously come out with empty hands. there is nothing within me to pull out. in order to give, I must allow myself to be filled with God. the well of His water never wanes, and always sustains. I must give from His reserves, for I have none.

so please do not tell me that i am strong. being “strong” is tiring, and in fact I wish to never be strong. His strength is made perfect in my weakness, and i am terribly weak, and He is terribly strong.

the only way we’re going to make it is by depending on Him. friends, at the end of the day, we are so human. the negative thoughts that scurry across our minds, the bad attitudes that we swallow, the tears that we pretend never slip out… let’s be real, they happen to us much more often than we’d like to admit. even though I work in a ministry, and my service is in Jesus’ name, many times I don’t do it with my heart completely surrendered to Him. so how do I expect to pour into other’s lives if I’m not allowing Jesus to pour Himself into me? and not just on Sundays, or Tuesdays, or Fridays… but every day. each morning and night. each moment that I feel my strength draining, my heart slipping down out of my chest, my joy bleeding out of my fingers.

His strength is made perfect in our weakness. remind yourself of this truth. clamor to Him in your weak moments, in your happy moments, in your end-of-the-rope moments, in your best moments. we are never strong. but He always wants to use us, always wants to pour into us so that in turn we can pour Him into others. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. 

it’s okay if you’re weak. just be willing to accept His strength.