like a kid again

wrapping up another busy day, I was sitting on the cool tile floor beginning to organize my closet when I heard God whispering “when are you going to spend time with Me today?” I pulled out my hand from within the cabinet, internally struggling with priorities and time management. I felt His words again. “hey keti… I want to spend time with you.” I knew I really needed time with Him, so I shut the smooth wooden doors and put off organizing pajama pants for another day.

slipping quietly into the hallway, I ducked under a window and lay on my back, running a finger along the rugged concrete wall, unsure of how to start. the way I normally pray is just by coming to God with whatever’s on my heart, and pausing every once in a while to gather my and His thoughts.

but this time I felt different.

I started thinking of how so many people say that Christianity isn’t a religion but a personal relationship with God. and from earthly experience, a strong relationship is held together by two committed people making an effort; it is not one person taking taking taking and the other person giving giving giving. it takes two. and there’s so many times I go to God just spewing my needs and not taking really much time to listen to His. what kind of relationship is that?

as I thought through that, the Spirit brought a new concept to my mind, suggesting I pray it. I hesitated, almost unsettled, but then prayed

God, what was something that made You happy today?
what was something you saw that broke Your heart?

and then I just waited for Him to respond.

I’ll admit, I felt kind of silly and childish. who am I, a mere mortal created by The Immortal, to ask God about His day?... a day, something that exists in my world but not in His. it’s almost like I’m asking Him to step within my limits.

or is it?

I think God is delighted when we ask Him personal questions. He knows then that we’re not coming before Him asking Him to make us feel better. He knows we’re coming to Him because we want to hear from Him, with hearts open and willing to hear.

this was the first time I think I’ve ever prayed that prayer. it’s taken me eighteen years to be a four-year-old child before God again. I know I need to pray it much more often, and allow time to really listen for His answer instead of moving on to the next thing.

setting apart our time to listen to the way His heart beats is one of the greatest ways we can show Him our love, and through doing that, we being to enter into a much deeper, more intimate relationship with the One who loves us more than we can imagine.