potty training

so today i felt daring enough to start potty-training Patrick, the two-year-old under my care. round one was a complete mess… both literally and figuratively. three times in two hours he wet his pants. i think he’s afraid to use the toilet, 1)because currently it hurts to go potty and 2) it’s something new and he doesn’t have alot of control or training yet. but the third, and last, time was the worst by far. all of a sudden he just peed, right in the middle of the room, with both feet planted in the puddle beneath him. biting back frustration, i asked him “sweetheart, do you need to go to the toilet?” he clenched his jaw and said “no!!” watching the yellow drops raining down, i asked him again “are you going pee?” and straight to my face, he responded “no!!” i asked him again and got the same response, only much louder: “no! no! NO!!!”

i could have easily yelled back in that moment. in fact, i truly wanted to. but once again, God hit me over the head with the words “respond in love. he’s hurting. give him grace.” looking right into his eyes, i no longer saw defiance, but instead saw hurt and him knowing that he'd let me down again. so instead of shouting back, i smiled, reached in and gave him a hug. “come on, little one. let’s go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up.” as he sat on the toilet wiping away his tears, i repeated for the third time that he needed to tell me when he had to go potty. that it was okay to use the toilet, and even if it hurt, i’d be there with him. that i love him regardless of whether he pees his pants or uses the bathroom.

after cleaning him all up (and putting a diaper on) i held him close to me for a couple of minutes. because leaving your comfort zone just sucks, you know? sometimes it’s just really hard to transition. the funny thing is, i was just about to start writing this post, thinking i was this big saint for treating Patrick with so much grace, when God hit me over the head again. “you are just like Patrick sometimes, pumpkin.”

i had to laugh out loud. it’s completely true. what patience He has with me even as I’m lying to His face, thinking I can do it on my own, refusing to choose His way because it hurts. i can be so blind sometimes, and i am always so undeserving of the grace and patience and love He has with me as i’m struggling through new changes, new transitions. the biggest thing i really take out of this is that we are all broken, busted-up souls in need of grace. so maybe instead of snapping back at your coworker, take a minute to consider why they’re acting like that- do you know their background and what they’re dealing with? instead of walking away from your screaming child, step in and hold them close- you don’t know what words have been said to them by others when you weren’t around to protect them. we need to respond in love. this doesn’t mean that we should be doormats and just let things happen to us; but we need to demonstrate the love and kindness of God in that moment.

it’s real hard sometimes to see things from another’s perspective when we’re feeling offended ourselves, but we need to make an effort and not only see them how God sees them, but treat them like God treats them.

respond in love. we’re all broken and in need of grace.