29.4.13

Shoot. Today was choc-full. This morning, we had breakfast and then kitchen clean-up, and then a one-hour individual devo after that. Today, God spoke through 1 John 3 about how I ought to be motivated out of love to reach out to others, instead of being motivated out of fear. For example, a lot of times I feel like I ought to go up to someone new and talk to them, for the motive that it’s something that I am [irrationally] afraid of- whereas in reality, I should be approaching the person because God is deeply in love with them and wants to use me to show them that love.  

Bueno. After this, we had our Extreme Challenge at 10. We were blindfolded right outside of our dorms, and led outside of Esperanza Viva grounds, and Josh guided us by voice- for about an hour- until we wound up in a big excavated hole. We were not permitted to remove our blindfolds, and all held hands to stick together. Keep in mind this is not a Mexico barrio, but Mexican countryside- potholed roads with big puddles, tilled fields, tall plants, ditches, various trees; essentially nothing super-civilized. At the bottom of this hole, Josh told us we were now on our own- he had us all spin separately in ten circles, and then try to find our way back.
Here’s me: “…………..”

So we knew first of all that we had to get out of this hole. When Gustavo found the edge, he started helping people climb out, and a lot of it you had to feel by your hands on the way up. Then we didn’t really have any clue where to go, so Josh gave one or two of us the chance to take our blindfold off and look in the direction we were standing. When he asked me to take mine off, it was blinding at first haha, and all I could see was that we were still in part of the hole…which didn’t really help anyone ;). Finally we made it all the way out, and then it felt like we were just going in circles- everyone pulling in different directions, thinking that they had the right sense of bearing. Josh was still with us, but only keeping us from falling into ditches or into more holes. He would also give someone sight every once in a while, but then he put on a rule where the person who was given sight couldn’t speak, only lead. So we asked the person yes-or-no questions, with one clap being yes and two being no. Anyways, to make a long trip full of falls, tripping, dirtiness, shouting, and pulling, short­­- we arrived finally, jumping and shouting and so happy we could finally rip our blindfolds off! We ripped our socks off as well, and slugged down water as we talked about what we learned from the past three hours. We thought it was similar to the way we are with God- it’s super easy to get detoured or derailed, and the chances we get to see His will, His desires clearly, we need to take advantage of them and run after them with all we have, because if we wait, we’re going to lose sense of direction.

Well after this, we had lunch, noodles and quesadillas with peppers and fried meat. Heck yeah. I went for double. After this, we met back together with Josh and talked about the past week and how we felt and what we’ve been learning. Then, we planned for our evangelism outing on Wednesday, which we’ll be doing for most of the day (I’ll try to write about that too).  Then supper, wheee, and we met with some of the staff and the interns, and talked about life after La Viña- I pulled a lot of good advice from that hour. Brayan asked a question that had been riding on my heart, which is basically “I feel pulled in both directions- there’s this balance between what my parents tell me (to go to school and study) and what my pastors are telling me (to stay and do this internship). And I look at both of these things, and think of the good that could come from the both of them, and also the limitations that both of them carry. And I can’t..  I can’t land on one clear answer. And I just want God to reveal to me His Will.” To this, Josh answered that sometimes God leaves decisions up to us, like there’s more than one road to arrive where God wants to bring us. The best thing is to continue to ask and seek out God, and in His time He is going to reveal to us parts of our future, His promises to us. Nancy also added that we shouldn’t start something new without finishing what we have been working on. This made me think of my schooling back in the States, that I had started my degree in Spanish + Sociology, but had dropped out after a year (to come here ;P). Which is valid, but the thing is that I don’t necessarily have an obligation to complete my education. My loans are paid off, and no one’s going to cry if I don’t go back. So… I’m going to continue to seeking out God and what He wants. What I’ve been learning this week is that, whatever He calls us to, it doesn’t matter the circumstance or conditions or finances or whatever, He is going to complete His calling in us, and it is only through Him and His power we can complete it. But overall, He will provide a way, whether it is obvious or supernatural. And so right now, I just want His calling, His anointing, so that I follow after it with all that I have.