age is such a fickle thing. birthdays never make you feel any older, and a lot of the time you still feel stuck in your 17 year old body, your 16 year old mind. age is something you can use to shame yourself into self pity "oh look, he's seven and has already changed the world, and I'm 20 and do nothing but sit on my couch, eat, sleep, and cry." something I have to remind myself of when i age-shame myself is that Jesus didn't start his ministry until he was 30, and then only did it for 3 years till His death and resurrection. the legacy He left AFTER His life lasted so much longer. so calm down, keti. it's okay to feel young. this is a time of preparation.
self reflection. at age 20, I am growing into a woman. I'm not completely there, but I feel the change, the cultivation inside of me. I am comfortable with my body- five years of bodyshaming and the last two with timid acceptance have brought me to a state of peace with this outer shell.
I know that being alone recharges me, but I don't always crave aloneness.
I know that I have a deep desire to live in community, because it is in community that there is growth.
I take pride in whatever art I create, be it a piece of writing that nails exactly what I need it to, or a picture that pinpoints perfectly the beauty i want it to represent, or an idea out of nowhere that others build into a masterpiece, or even a stinking outfit ensemble. haha. expressing ourselves in an honest manner is what I think alot of us strive for.
life is too short to not eat food that tastes good- period. ;) and running isn't always the worst thing in the world.
I've also learned that nothing lasts forever. life is full of interims. accepting this is going to help you transition so much easier. take time, lots of little snapshots, while you're in each era, so you don't look back and find your heart filled with sadness. you'll have a collection of memories, beautiful moments, encouraging you to move forward and collect more.
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